Men On A Mission
by Angelina K
Summary: The Tracy men are on their toughest mission yet -- the search for feminine products! Don't read this if you don't even understand the summary ;) Strictly TV-show based after almost a year out of the picture! Woo!


_Guys! I've missed you!! I feel like I've been completely out of the loop. Here is a story I started about a year ago during a fit of madness, and just happened to finish this morning after reading some great new fics that have been posted recently. Please review, and let me know what you think. It's a bit different from what I usually would write (cough Torn cough) but it's fun, and it's amusing, and it's kind of fluffy. So enjoy, review, and please don't ever let me stay away for such a long time again! It's been over a year, I believe! Yikes! D  
Love you lots,  
Angelina_

* * *

"Why are we doing this again?" Scott asked, sitting down on one of the seats in the small speedboat the Tracy family used to get from the island to the mainland.

"Because Tin-Tin promised Grandma she'd help her make a large dinner for when Penelope gets here this afternoon," Alan answered, climbing into the boat behind his brothers.

"So why can't she go to the store tomorrow?"

"She needs this stuff now. She told me she doesn't have enough to last another day."

"What is it she needs anyway?" Virgil took up the driver's position and started the engine.

"Headache pills!" Gordon joked. "You can't be around Alan so often without overdosing!"

Alan made a face at Gordon. "No, that's not it."

"I don't get why you have to bring all of us. What if we're needed for a rescue or something?"

"Trust me, Gords, this is the worst assignment any of us have ever had."

"What are you talking about, Alan? You still haven't told me what we're going to get for Tin-Tin."

Alan went a pale shade of pink. "You know. . .woman stuff."

"Woman stuff? What the hell do you mean by that?" Scott's eyes narrowed, afraid he knew where this was going.

Alan blushed darker as Gordon jumped in, positive he knew what Alan was talking about. "That stuff women need when they're going around biting your head off and making you think everything is your fault just because you're a man and you don't have to put up with that thing they go through once a month?" He offered.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Alan admitted.

"Oh, no. No no no. There is no way I'm going shopping for that stuff." Gordon made a move to jump ship.

Alan grabbed Gordon by the back of the shirt before he could leap off the boat, though he knew his brother wouldn't do it anyway. "Come on, guys, you have to help me. I have no idea what I'm looking for."

"And we do?" Virgil raised an eyebrow, expertly guiding the boat across the ocean. The mainland was already in sight.

Alan let out a long sigh. "Well, I figured four people were better than one." He turned to his eldest brother. "Hey, Scott, you've had a lot of girlfriends, so you'd know about this stuff, right?"

Scott shook his head. "No way. I stay far, far away when they're going through this...thing."

Virgil put one arm up as Alan looked his way. "Don't look at me, Alan. I know about as much about this as you do."

Alan groaned. "We're in trouble."

"No, we're not. Alan, why didn't you ask me if I knew about this?" Gordon wondered. "Do you think I don't know anything about women?"

"Well, do you?"

Gordon put on a defeated grin. "Not really."

Alan leaned back in his seat. "We'll just see what we can find at the drug store once we get there."

* * *

Four out of the five Tracy sons walked into the local drug store with their assignment first in their minds – to find what Tin-Tin needed and then to get out of there as fast as possible.

"Okay..." Alan took a deep breath, trying to think logically. "Where would we find what we're looking for?"

Scott scanned the aisle headings. "Right here, aisle four." He looked closer and read it to his brothers. "Feminine products, it says."

"You sure that isn't makeup? I mean, lipstick isn't exactly masculine products, right?" Gordon joked, grinning.

Virgil hit him on the back of the head good-naturedly. "Come on, the quicker we get this over with the quicker we can get home."

The four trooped down the aisle like men on a mission. They stopped in the middle and stared up at the shelves filled with brightly coloured packages.

Alan was the first to speak. "How the _hell_ are we supposed to know which one she wants when there has to be at least a thousand to choose from?"

"What kind did she tell you she wanted?"

"Um..." Alan paused for a moment. "I don't remember. I was a bit flustered!" He quickly added, defending himself.

Scott sighed. "Well, why don't we just look at all of them and if you recognize the word, let us know, okay?"

Alan nodded determinedly. "Right."

They split up and began combing the aisle for something they may have recognized from Tin-Tin's private bathroom. Having only been in there once each, not including the multiple times Alan had ventured in to take a shower – and not alone, either – it was almost an impossible task.

Out of nowhere, Gordon began to hoot with laughter.

"What is it?" Virgil crossed the aisle and came to see what was so funny.

"Wings. These ones have wings. Hey, Scottie, do you think they go as fast as your baby?" He wasn't going to say 'Thunderbird One' out loud in the middle of a drug store. He made airplane noises, pretending to fly the package around the aisle.

"Oh, grow up, Gordon." Virgil rolled his eyes and went back to his search.

"Look! Porn!"

That got their attention quickly, the other three heading over to see what Alan was talking about. He held a little piece of paper in his hand and was staring at it with a lazy smirk. It had fallen out of one of the boxes he'd been studying.

"Those are instructions, you idiot, not porn." It was Scott's turn to roll his eyes now.

Feeling deflated, Alan stuck the small pamphlet back into the box and put it back on the shelf.

"Have we come across anything that looks familiar yet, Alan?"

"I don't know, Virg, I have no idea what we're looking for."

"So why don't we just get one of each?" Scott suggested.

"That's like, three thousand boxes of woman things. That's crazy. I'm not walking out of this store with those things falling out of my bag."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Alan looked at Scott, who was standing with one box of tampons in his right hand and a box of pads in the other.

"One of each kind, not one of each brand."

"Okay, I guess we could do that. Just make sure you get the most expensive. I don't want Tin-Tin to think I'm cheap."

"Doesn't take a feminine products shopping trip to tell her that."

"Oh, shut up, Gordon!" Alan frowned. "Give me those." He took the two packages from Scott and headed up the aisle. "Let's get out of here."

Alan led the way to the counter and got out his wallet, his three brothers standing behind him as they waited. The woman looked at what they were purchasing, none of the brothers meeting her eyes, and all four of them heavily tinted red. She chuckled understandingly, put the purchase in a bag and handed it to Alan. "Have a good afternoon!" She chirped cheerfully, smiling.

"I just hope it's better than my morning," Alan huffed, heading outside to the parking lot, brothers in tow.

* * *

"Tin-Tin!" Alan called loudly after the four of them were safely back in the house.

"Oh, Alan, you're back!" Tin-Tin entered the room with her usual feminine grace, something that was rather lacking on the island. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Did you get what I asked for?"

"Yes, and we all went with him," Gordon piped up, wearing a large grin. He wouldn't mind a little kiss too!

She seemed surprised. "Well, thank you, boys." Gordon's smile disappeared in disappointment and the brothers separated to get on with their day. "Alan, I'm afraid I sent you to the store for nothing," Tin-Tin said after a moment with a sigh.

"What do you mean, for nothing?" His forehead creased into a frown. He didn't like the sound of that.

"Well, I was cleaning my bathroom, and I happened to find just what I needed. I wasn't as low on supply as I thought I was!"


End file.
